Blessings and Curses

Blessings and Curses
        All of us have our share ofsuffering and Christians are not exempted from them. We don’t welcome it but weseldom have much control. Father Henri Nouwen says:
        “It is an on going temptationto think of our lives as living under a curse. The loss of a friend, anillness, an accident, a natural disaster, a war, or any failure can make usquickly think that we are no good and are being punished. This temptation tothink of our lives as full of curses is even greater when all the media presentus day after day with stories about human misery.
        Jesus came to bless us,not to curse us. But we must choose to receive that blessing and hand it onto others. Blessings and curses are always placed in front of us. We are tochoose. God says, ‘Choose the blessings!’” (Bread forthe Journey, Sept 8)
       
        “To bless means to say goodthings. We have to bless one another constantly. Parents need to blesstheir children, children their parents, husbands their wives, wives theirhusbands, friends their friends. In our society, so full of curses, we mustfill each place we enter with our blessings. We forget so quickly that weare God’s beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken ourhearts. Therefore, we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind othersof theirs. Whether the blessing is given in words or with gestures, in asolemn or an informal way, our lives need to be blessed lives.” (Breadfor the Journey, Sept 7)

We bless ourselves:
·         when we give thanks with agrateful heart.
·         when we listen to thequiet, inner voice that says good things about ourselves.
·         when we affirm ourselves and know that we have giventhe best of ourselves in whatever we have worked on.
·         when we shut out the loud,busy outer voice that says we are being punished.
We bless others:
·         when we speak goodthings about them and to them.
·         when we show by ourgestures that their presence is a joy to us.
·         when we reveal tothem their gifts, their goodness and their talents.
1. Our reactions immediately after an unpleasantevent happens
        Whenwe lose our job, when we have an abusive boss, when a car accident happens,when we are robbed, when we are seriously ill, when we have cancer, theimmediate question “Why?” emerges. “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why here?” “What haveI done wrong?” “Why am I being punished?” It is so difficult to live without ananswer to this “Why?” But, if we are too focused and obsessed with findingthe answers to these questions of the causes of these events, we are morelikely to end up being angry and bitter. Bitterness will turn us away fromGod and thus we curse ourselves.
        In order to help me seemy suffering and pain in a new light, I have to change my focus. Nowthat the unpleasant event has happened, what should my response be? Byconcentrating on my response, I am more likely to end up turning to God,trusting Him and blessing myself. How is this done? Mother Teresa advised,“Just accept whatever He gives and give whatever He takes with a big smile.” (TheWisdom of Mother Teresa, 42) Who can do that? I can’tdo it. It is impossible for me to accept with a smile this suffering andadversity. Whenever I say anything is impossible, I have inadvertentlyput a curse on myself! I have shut out all possibilities. But Imay be able to accept it with a smile, if I truly believe that “Godloves me” (John 15:9 TEV) and that “I am precious to Him” (Isaiah 43:4 TEV).How? This requires a change in mindset and heart-set because if I amprecious to God, then it stands to reason that He cares for me and knows mysuffering and hardships and that He has permitted, allowed, sent or given themto me. Furthermore, I will surely be able to smile if I turn to God andwholeheartedly believe that with God’s help all things are possible as, “Thisis impossible with human beings, but for God everything is possible” (Matthew19:26 TEV). When I embrace this truth, I bless myself. Therefore,I must trust that God has allowed the suffering to be a means of disciplinethrough which faith, love, patience and grace may be cultivated in my life. Godwill not allow my suffering and pain to be wasted and to be of no value to me.God will see me through my suffering and will carry me through it all but Ihave to keep reminding myself that, ”I have the strength to face allconditions by the power that Christ gives me.” (Philippians 4:13 TEV) And “Godhas given us a spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy1:7 TEV). This belief, this constant repetition will help me to face mysuffering and hardships in a new perspective. What I need to do is to turnto God, do my best under the circumstances and trust Him to turn itround for my good. God promises to take “all things” including suffering,abuses, evil things, and turn them round for good as “in all things God worksfor good with those who love Him”(Romans 8:28 TEV).
        But what is for our good? Thisis for the individual to pray and with God’s help to discover. He needs toconstantly search for himself answers to the questions: “What is the seed ofequivalent good in my suffering?” “What is the seed of equivalent benefit in myadversity?” Some good traits which we may develop can be more patience,more consideration, less arrogance and less resentment.
       
         Remember, all God requiresof us is to come to Him in prayer and trust Him completely. Trust Him to turnour lives around. He will not fail us because we can trust God “who alwayskeeps His promise.” (1 Peter 4:19 TEV) We do our part and give of our bestand He will do His part. When we turn to God, God will work WITH us to turnthe suffering and pain round for our good. The circumstances, the pain, thesuffering, the hardship or the adversity may still be there and may not changemuch BUT our response and internal attitude towards them will certainly change.Yes, we can take God at His Word that He will help us, comfort us,strengthen us and support us through our pain and suffering. Then, sufferingcan become a turning point from which we take our greatest leap forward in ourfaith in God. When we trust God, God gives us the hope and courage to looksuffering in the face and to go through it confidently with a renewed spiritand heart. Our suffering will, hopefully, turn us round to come in closertouch with the presence of God in our lives. The great secret in life is thatsuffering can become a source of new hope and new life. We will then learn toaccept it with a smile. This is indeed a blessing.
2. Our memory of events long after they happened
        How we recount these unpleasantexperiences is also vitally important. When we constantly recountthem:
·         with blaming God,
·         with blaming others,
·         with cursing our fate,
·         with anger,
·         with fear,
·         with regret,
·         with the feeling of beingvictimised,
        then we put these events underthe curse. Whenwe feel we are being punished, the feeling of being cursed comes easily. Wewill hear an inner voice calling us “bad,” “rotten,” “worthless,” “useless,”“doomed to sickness and death.” We darken our hearts and live our lives withbitterness and resentment. So, we unconsciously curse ourselves.
        But blessing is nothing morethan recounting positively these events:
· with what God has helped usto endure or overcome,
· with what patience ourfamily and friends have stood by us,
· with what we have learnt outof the events, and
· with hope, courage and love.
        Then we put these experiencesunder the blessing and we consciously bless ourselves.
        Henri Nouwen says, “In Latin, to bless is benedicere.The word ‘benediction’ that is used in many churches means literally:speaking (dictio) well (bene) or saying good things of someone.That speaks to me. I need to hear good things said of me, and I know how muchyou have the same need. Nowadays, we often say: ‘We have to affirm eachother.’ Without affirmations, it is hard to live well. To give someone ablessing is the most significant affirmation we can offer. It is more than aword of praise or appreciation; it is more than pointing out someone’s talentsor good deeds; it is more than putting someone in the light. To give ablessing is to affirm, to say ‘yes’ to a person’s Belovedness. And morethan that: to give a blessing creates the reality of which it speaks. There isa lot of mutual admiration in this world, just as there is a lot of mutualcondemnation. A blessing goes beyond the distinction between admiration orcondemnation, between virtues or vices, between good deeds or evil deeds. Ablessing touches the original goodness of the other and calls forth his or herBelovedness.” (Life of the Beloved, 56)
         Physical, mental or emotionalpain lived under the blessing is experienced in ways radically different fromphysical, mental or emotional pain lived under the curse. Even a smallburden, perceived as a sign of our worthlessness, can lead us to deepdepression. But, great and heavy burdens become light and easy when they arelived in the light of the blessing. What seems intolerable becomes achallenge. What seems a reason for despair becomes a source of hope. What seemspunishment becomes a gentle pruning from God. What seems rejection becomes away to a deeper communion with God. And so the great task becomes that ofallowing the blessing to touch us in our brokenness. Then our brokennesswill gradually come to be seen as an opening towards the full acceptance ofourselves as the Beloved children of God. This explains why true joy can beexperienced in the midst of great suffering. It is the joy of beingdisciplined, purified and pruned. Just as athletes who experience greatpain as they run the race can, at the same time, taste the joy of knowing thatthey are coming closer to their goal, so also can the Beloved experiencesuffering as a way to deeper communion with God. Here joy and sorrow are nolonger each other’s opposites, but have become the two sides of the same desireto grow to the fullness of the Beloved. For this blessed attitude to takeroot, we have to have deep faith that God loves us unconditionally and that weare the beloved children of God, very precious to Him.
        God sent Jesus to bless us,“God. . . sent Him to bless you” (Acts 3:26 NJB) and Jesus himself has blessedus with every spiritual blessing, “our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed uswith all the spiritual blessings” (Ephesians 1:3 NJB). Jesus shows us by HisWords and Deeds how to live a blessed life, “Blessed are those who do Hiscommandments” (Revelation 22:14 NKJV). Jesus creates a whole new blessedenvironment for us to dwell in and, ”how happy are those who hear the wordof God and obey it!"(Luke 11:28 TEV) We have to choose to stay in thatplace with Him and to hand His blessings on to others to make our blessingsgrow and multiply.
       
         Remember, no one is broughtto life through curses, blaming, gossips, accusations and punishment. But everyone is brought to life through blessings, encouragement, affirmations, praises,rewards and forgiveness.

From an enlightened blogger which in this case is not me.